Tuesday, 13 December 2016

ON BECOMING: My 2 Cents

talk2urhommie



After I read Toke Makinwa’s book: On becoming, I was lost at what a girl really wanted for herself. I kept asking myself if the ultimate thing for a girl should be to get married no matter what it cost her. Or to just have any man in her life, no matter the baggage he comes with because she believed she was in love with him.

It felt like all Toke wanted was a guy with 6 packs and many British accent to be associated with her life. If not, then, who stays with a guy who
in the first four month of the relationship shows you that he has two other girls in his life? A guy you go visiting and he gives you the world’s most awkward treatment, which makes you feel unwelcomed and then you go back home; upon your arrival you hear about just another girl added to the clan of girls in his life. A guy who stops you from attending his friend’s birthday party because his EX would be attending the party as well… Really?

Initially, when I started reading the book, I felt that Maje was either a wicked person or simply not human. But this perception changed when I finished the book and discussed it with a male friend of mine. My friend went on bragging about how Maje must be a very bad sharp guy. At that point it hit me: Maje didn’t have to do anything, infact the ordeals our dear Toke faced didn’t need to have come from a bad sharp guy, it could have been anybody. Anybody who was tall, dark and maybe handsome – even though handsome might not be one of the attribute I would adorn Maje with if I were asked to describe him, but hey, it is not my call-.


The book had a lot of scenarios that had my eye brows raised  all through but these three questions kept popping up in my head:

Firstly, was Toke obsessed with Maje? Maybe his looks, family, the name or whatever. Because in the book, amidst the whole craziness, one thing that was prominent was the fact that she would look at him and her heart would melt.

Secondly, was it that she was desperate to get married? Maybe she had to prove a point. Like she was chasing a past where either no one got married, or, she wanted to correct a notion some people might have had of her that she would never get married. If not; then, which lady  out there would think marriage immediately after she found out that her boyfriend of 12 years has had a baby all along and never mentioned it to her ever?.

Finally, in her defense, maybe she was in love. Blindly in love… Well, if that was love then I don’t think I want to be in love.

This marriage breakup topic is pretty emotional for me because I have seen one or two people go through divorce and it was a rocky journey for them. One thing I feel that we would all pick out from this book both as single or married ladies is the fact that these guys always give us signs. You basically will see the thing in the guy before you plunge ahead to marry him.

Anyways, was it a good read for me? Yes.

Why was it a good read? Because, I feel that any girl in a funny relationship will learn a thing or two from this story and know when it is time to call it quit. After all, I heard someone say that she called her relationship of 6 years quit when she heard Tiwa and Teebill’s story, because she could see a lot of similarities in hers. The book will teach you that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

One thing that is sure is that the book will keep you glued till the very end which is every writer’s intention. In fact, personally, the business side of this book screams louder to me than the emotional side –which is one smart way to tell your story.

In conclusion, I will say that Unbecoming is a good read for anybody who hasn’t read it yet. It is a book that has great lessons in it. It shows some experience one should be happy never to have gone through and for the single ladies, some you should be happy you heard about before entering into this thing called marriage. Plus it would help you save your time.

I hope she wrote the book with the intent to help guide the parts of a lot of women, I also hope the book meets this expectation.

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……….Talk2urHommie……….



30 comments:

  1. beautiful write-up...i have not read the book by Toke Makinwa. But this has given me an insight and i think all ladies read this and share their own verdict.

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    Replies
    1. Thank You very much. I cannot wait for you to read the book and share your own 2 cent on it

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  2. Gat to read the book. Congratulations on ur first post.

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    Replies
    1. Thank You very much. You really have to read the book o

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  3. Well done, this is a great piece. I think Toke should pay you for this review and wonderful summary you did on "Unbecoming".

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  4. Great review babe keep it up, the pressure from society for we ladies to settle down is crazy that we end up staying in relationships we ought not be in because we rather not stay single. May wisdom guide us. Keep it up babe

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    Replies
    1. Thank You very much.
      About pressure; Society puts pressure on almost everything: If you aren't married, there is pressure. If you are done with school and haven't gotten a job at the time society deems right, there is pressure. If you are married and have not given birth at the time society deems fit, they is pressure. If you are married and have children, but society feels that your children aren't living the kind of lives they ought to be living, there is pressure. There is pressure at every time in our lives; So, the sooner we ladies understand this fact and not live our lives to the tune of society, the soon we would start enjoying our lives par-time. After all, who really is society?

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  5. Nice review.I have read the book and all I see is a girl setting her 2017 in motion business wise

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    Replies
    1. Thank You. Hmmm, that 2017 plan is another good angle to look at it from. Samrt way to go.

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  6. Love this. Thumbs up.
    Personally from the emotional/relationship part, I think this is a lesson every lady should learn from.
    1. Do not lose yourself to please any man. Trust me, someone that will love you for who you are is just right there at the corner.
    2. Marriage has never been and will never be the answer for a man to love you more than the other 5 girls he is dating. Sister please don't do it. Don't force a man into it. Marriage is not a one day but a life time affair.
    3. If you have to fight, change who you are and lose your self esteem for him because you want to compete with other girls in his life, please take it from me that it is not worth it. It's a sign he wants something else.
    We should give it to Toke that she is a strong woman, an independent lady and a fighter. Lovely attributes of her.
    A good book.

    Thanks @talk2urhommie

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    Replies
    1. Nuf said...I have nothing else to add to this. Thank you for broadening our horizon

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  7. Cheers on your first post.I think the book is just business, she managed to earn money and sympathy from it.I didn't stop reading until I was done,she did a good job though with the book. But the story is hard to believe, seeing Toke to be a sharp girl,there are many things left unsaid.

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    Replies
    1. Abi... One sharp girl to another sharp girl... I feel you sister. Thank You very much.

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  8. Brilliant review Omy...I am proud of you.

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