Tuesday, 29 August 2017

Let’s Analyze This:

Cover picture of Let's Analyze this

Baby Mommas, The new Trend?                                                                                 

Today’s topic is one that particularly bothers me, because I have been harassed more than once on this topic. I would share the most severe of them with you in a bit.

A picture of Patoranking surfaced on Instagram, holding a
lady’s belly, she should be between eight to nine months pregnant and he was thanking God for what was to come. In his words “Daddy o! Thank God.”

When I saw this picture, I opened his Instagram page, looking for his marriage pictures, or even that of his engagement and when I did not see any, I started to search for a sign to show that it was a music video and he was trying to play tricks with our minds. Omo, I went all FBI on the guy and I still did not see anything to link unseriousness to his post. So with my last hopeful nerve, I went on to tell myself that it was a music video stunt.

Then popular blogs started putting up the picture and congratulating him on his new addition. I began to think aloud: what is happening in my country, Nigeria? We look at the seemingly interesting lives of the Westerners and try to copy most of the things that they do. But we intentionally pay no attention to the side effects.

Let us take  Lil wayne as an example: his life looked cool and worthy of emulating. I mean, he went to jail, got out and his CEO bought him a brand new Bentley as a welcome back to freedom gift. How many CEO’s will get their artist a brand new car when they get out of the prison. Now, let us take a look at their lifestyles: they get high on an hourly count; hang out with ladies with big butt and give birth to several children from different women and their lives are still on track like nothing went wrong. This certainly seems like a fun life to live, so we begin to emulate it and totally shut our eyes to the ones that went broke and declared bankruptcy; had child support issues; or the ones who were too neck deep in their careers and had no family structure to help balance the lives of their children and ended up with children addicted to drugs; getting killed for living lives on the edge.

Just before you insert your YOU into HER without a condom of course (because it is sweeter without condoms, I hear) and begin to get your feel to the point where you are sure that you have given her all of you andtaken all of her (In John Legend’s voice). Ask yourself this question, in ten to fifteen years from now, will I be happy that I exposed a child to the kind of life I am living now?

Anyway, back to my story, after I saw that Patoranking’s chick might be pregnant for him for real for real, I wondered, how many Nigerian musicians have children outside wedlock, not wanting to estimate the figure,  I searched Google and that was when I knew it was time we joined hands as Nigerians to pray for our brothers and sisters in the music industry o. Ahn ahn what is it now?

How does it concern me, you might ask? Because some of us actually look up to some celebrities for our morals and standard of living. No matter how much you want to disagree to this, you have done at least one thing because a celebrity did it, or started it and it became the trend.

Now, the story of my life? The other day, an ex-boyfriend of mine, a guy I dated when I was in my second year in diploma o, like I had not even entered the University proper, so it is even safe to say that we never really dated sef, like he was just an acquaintance. Anyway, he called me up one faithful afternoon (and this is me, three years after University) and started bragging about how he had always told me that he liked me and I was there forming big chick for him, now look at me: still single and hoping that one day, my messiah will come and find me in my corner of the earth. Apparently he now had a baby from a very hot baby momma. This brother went ahead to forward me two pictures of the lady: One with the both of them looking like baby daddies and mummies and the other picture had just the lady.

My brothers and sisters, I cut the call and clapped my hands like five times and began to think of my life:

Kai, I should go and marry sha. Wait, so I am supposed to be jealous of a baby momma i.e a lady who has a child out of wedlock; one who is not even sure if this guy is going to marry her or not. Oh gosh, what is this world turning into. Is being a baby momma the new happily ever after?

Shey you can see what these celebrities have caused. Because when we have people like 9ice and his cohort having babies from more than one lady and are still living life normally, how will this stale acquaintance of mine not think I should feel like I made a very terrible life decision not dating him for seven years and probably having like two children to show for it.

My people; my fellow ladies who still believe in meeting a guy, having him woo you for like three months, going to his house and leaving him with just a kiss for the first five times you visit him, date him for like a year and six months, so you are sure you know him properly (the sex part is totally on you to decide o). Then he takes you to a place where the whole world will see you, maybe Marina market or somewhere like that, kneels down and gives you a ring, marries you and then knack you your first belle. If you are in this boat with me, please drop your email address in the comment section, so that I can inbox you the place and time for our prayer session.

If you are not on this boat with me, WHAT!!! What do you mean? So you think my acquaintance is right? So, I should feel bad for not hanging around long enough to become a baby momma. Or what? Please hit me up in the comment section and air your views.

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  1. first..your writing style is off and you need to employ the use of a spell checker. secondly...you need to mind your business and not call people out the way you have done here. Who made you a Judge? People have a right to freedom to choose if they want to get married or just plain have children. It's evident that your article is based solely on what you believe and how you think life should be lived according to you. A little bit of research will show you that there exists a diverse culture of what is portrayed as right or wrong, acceptable/unacceptable. I saw you post this on LinkedIn and decided to take a read. Quite disappointed. If you would like to take this further, just say so and i will contact you.

    Kind regards.

    1. First: who made u judge of grammar? 2nd: its with your kinda liberal views to morals thats why the whole world has no standard of morality. 3rd: why are you hidding under Anonymous? Lets know who you are? But for real have the decency to accept the truth even if you cant deal with it. The question you should be asking your self is :would you wish such a life for your own flesh and blood and still feel you have done your job as a parent. Please the letters in "Conscience" are still complete..lets not loose our humanity!

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  2. And venting baby mommas have started commenting. Lol

  3. I love this article 😂😂😂🙌🙌🙅

  4. I love this article 😂😂😂🙌🙌🙅

  5. I think guys who prefer baby moma do so out of their fear of marriage. Not many guys are comfortable with the idea of marriage. They want to have a child, they may even want to keep the girl as theirs but marriage and it's laws just frightens them. Fear of divorce, alimony and the likes. Nigerian laws are still flexible on this though, but for how long.