Tuesday, 13 February 2018

Single Girls Gist 7:

The best Valentine's day Recipe: Reduce the pressure on the brother

The Best Valentine’s Day Recipe (2):

                                           Reduce the pressure on the brothers!

 Hi dear, so yet another Valentine’s day is upon us, actually, it is tomorrow; Oh gosh, that’s too close!

Let me start by saying that this is not one of those posts where I preach to you on how Valentine’s day is more about giving to the poor and less privileged. Nah! I have lived long enough on earth to know that Saint Valentine did a honorable job with giving to and caring for the poor and we sincerely appreciate him for that. In our century, however, we have long realized that we have the remaining 353 days to give to the poor and make them feel special; so how about we take out just one day, Valentine’s day, to show the ‘special someone’ in our lives just how special they are to us. Ladies, if you feel me, hit the subscribe button, so we can rub minds more often!

This is also not one of them motivational posts, empowering ladies who have no boyfriends or the ones whose boyfriends die 2 days to Val’s day and then, come alive 2 days after Val’s day. No, I am certain that there will be lots of write ups for you, my darlings.

Today, I want to talk to those of us who never, ever, feel satisfied with the kinds of gifts our men give us.

If you have never been in this position, I mean, you have never hated your man or life secretly after each Val’s day; then firstly, you are goals!

Secondly, you will never understand what it feels like to have your man casually stroll from the nearest Mr. Biggs, baring in his hand a nylon full of tasteless pastries. Tasteless not from the lack of baking skills of the caterers at the eatery but from the guile that whirls up your oesophagus each time each Valentine’s day goes the same way – same eatery, same pastries, same feel, same man. Or,

Having spent a large chunk of your time listening to your friends, ranting about how much they can’t wait to be whisked away to some romantic island, or have the latest editions of gadgets delivered to their door steps on Val’s day and you end up getting the ‘usual’ - A funnily scented card, a strand of rose, four or five bars of Sneakers chocolate and a bottle of red wine.

Do you know the trauma such a one will have to face each time she goes through social media and sees her friends posting those really annoying pictures of their evidence of love? Yeah, I bet you don’t. Or,

The final set who have their boyfriends remain in bed with them all day of Val’s day, in the name of spending that long promised quality time together, when in the true sense of it, the woman knows that it is the same no money story, he sang to her last Valentine’s day and the two before that.

Why can’t they just break free from such relationships and get themselves a man that makes them happy? You might ask…

Well, No. That is not how it works. Because at the end of the day, they have a men they can call their own; their listening ears, the ones who recharges their phones occasionally and makes them not feel alone and ugly. You get it yeah?

If you have ever been or might be in any of these shoes; by now, I am sure you can tell that I have been there and done that. Now, let us help each other, not only live through this state but also, to never be in this position again.

Valentine’s day, first of, in our context, is truly about showing care to the special someone in our lives, emphasis on ‘our lives’. It has nothing, whatsoever, to do with that of our friend’s. We are the masters of our lives and owe it to ourselves to be genuinely happy.

If our man treats us right, is faithful to us, cares about us and has a vision; then, we need to learn how to be more futuristic with this thing called love. I know it will be great to have the good things of life and have it now. I also know that our friends who have those things do not have more heads than we do but at the end of the day, what is more important to you? Genuine happiness or The good things of life.

Secondly, can we kindly establish the fact that gadgets and exotic trips aren’t the true meaning of happiness. Take a moment and ask yourself what happiness means to you. If you truly had all those things from a different man, will you be happy? Does it seem to you that your man has a clear vision of where he is going to - that place that will yield him more than enough money to take you on those trips and gift you lovely things? Can you wait for him?

Thirdly, I have learnt that the fastest way to get your partner to treat you in the exact way you wish you could be treated, is to treat him in that way too. This time around, let us try something different. Let us go out of our ways and get him something. Something far from those boring boxers and singlets we have always gotten because, I mean, how much did he even spend on getting us those, almost, insignificant gifts.

Should you break the bank because you want to pass a message to your man? No, please. I took the time out to look and ask around and I have seen that there are stores that can afford you quality gifts, say accessories that your man will extremely appreciate, without you having to break the bank. One of such stores is called Just Men NG (@Justmen_ng on Instagram). This way, you can pass the message to him that you know that he cares about you but you will like some thoughts and commitment to the gifts he gets you.

Finally, my darlings, contribute! If his income is clearly not enough to get you those things that you wish you could have gotten on a day like this; then, sit with him and have a talk. Talk about how you both can increase your sources of income. Help him analyze, strategize and kick start his plans. This way, he knows you care more than just having him as a partner but also in his development.

From the depth of my heart, I hope these pointers of mine are as helpful as I intended them to be.

For my girls who might not have a Valentine’s date, I might be in the good spirit to hang out at the movies with one or two of my readers. All you need to do is: Reside in Lagos, (on the island preferably) and leave a comment below.
Happy Valentine’s day darling!

P.S: I called this piece the best Valentine’s day recipe (2) because I wrote the first edition this time last year. That one was for my girls who do not have a Valentine’s date on Valentine’s day. It is indeed one of my best post to date and still very much relevant today. You could take a peep at it if you think it applies to you.

*************Single girls deserve to be happy; Shit, we all deserve to be happy*************

Author’s Comment: Oh, I had a good time writing this piece and I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Let me know if you did, by leaving a comment, or even some words of encouragement for someone who is this position, in the comment section below. If there is any particular topic you would like me to talk on, just suggest below and we will have an even more interesting time talking about it. Do Make sure you also share this with other single ladies you know; you never know whose soul you might be saving. Finally, remember, we are single and not dead; life must go on. Abi mustn’t it?



  1. Let me just say hubby and I have never really celebrated Vals, the only time we did, his only gift to me was an engagement ring, and I didn't like the idea. Like just ring? Nothing else. So till date I expect nothing on Vals day to save me from the heartache. And yes I've told him many times that I'll like a gift no matter how small but it's still the same thing every year. I don't understand some men though

  2. I think there are so many things couples celebrate together in a year. I mean from birthdays to anniversaries (marriage, first date, etc) and the usual family vacation that people don't really plan for Vals anymore. But if it should be significant to any couple, then it should be well thought off long before the date. If you do this, then you wouldn't need to break the bank as it was no surprise to you, neither will any lady send you a singlet and boxer as in, come and start going to your father's house. I guess it is at least cool when on that day "they have a man they can call their own".

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